I Hope the Days Come Easy and the Moments Pass Slow
Just do it! I've been wishing I wasn't so overweight for the past 30 years. When I got out of highshcool and moved in with James - I wasn't as heavy as I am now - but by then I'd started carrying extra weight. I beleive I was starting to deal with Type II Diabetes - but it wasn't tested for as much back then. When I had my two kids in 1985and 1987 I lost most of the baby weight - but within 6 months I was dealing with a strained marriage. I was probably going through post-partem depression. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom becuase I didn't want anyone else raising my kids and I thought it was the best thing. But by then we were down to one car - and we only had social contact wtih James' friends. I started having severe anxiety attacks. I've tried off and on over the past two years to get in shape. I joined a gym and paid for a trainer 2x a week. But when I worked out for 6 months and hadn't seen as much improvement as I wanted - it was easy to say it wasn't working and quit. Now I'm dealing with this lack of energy. Another issue was a doctor reducing my thyroid medication - it took me two years to get it back up to where it needed to be - and by the time I'd gotten it increased again - I'd put on 40 pounds. Why are bad habits so easy to get into and good habits a battle? When am I going to love myself enough to get heathly? Why do I think I'm so disposable? A throw-away human. Another trait I dislike about myself is the pessimism I so quickly run to. I KNOW thoughts and words are powerful. If I think positive - I will be more optomistic and happier. But instead I'm standing in the cornfield with Junior singing "Gloom, dispair, and agony on me....deep dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all...gloom dispair and agony on me." See? I know all the words to that song like Hee-Haw was on TV last night. Who else can come up with the words that fast? I so want to quit looking back at the past and seeing all the coulda-woulda-shoulda's and just accept who I am now...where I'm at in life. Lord knows it's at least half over. But I still have another half to go! I am going to make it a point starting now - to do something to improve myself every day. I've become physically weak from lack of excercise and I've become Spiritually weak from lack of prayer, meditating on the scriptures, and not being in a church family. If all I do is walk one block and read one verse of scriputre today - at least it's a step in the right direction. One of my favorite quotes is from Carl Jung. "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." Negative people bug the crap out of me.
I'm posting a current picture of me. I'm showing off my T-shirt with the picture of my favorite IT guru...who's standing beside me in this pic. He posted it as "My personal stalker." LOL 
I do have a good life. I believe it when I see my beautiful grandson. He's so happy - has such a great personality....I know some of that has to do with me. He deserves to have a grandma who's healthy and active. There's my reason for living if anything!!! :)
I have to believe that God has good plans for my life.
Source: https://terriseasydays.blogspot.com/
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